Danes are weird… Agree?

The more I travel around the world, the more I realize that we Danes are actually pretty  weird.  Here is my list of weird stuff Danes do.

Danes Are Weird

  • Danes don’t trust weather forecasts.
  • Danes puts salt on food without even tasting it.
  • Want to upset a Dane? Compare them to a Swede. 
  • Danish news is either about politics or shows on TV.
  • Danes get confused and embarrassed if you compliment them.
  • Danish media goes mental when a Dane is on CNN or Oprah.
  • Students have their graduation party before the graduation.
  • Danes think you are a creep if you smile at a stranger’s baby.
  • Riding a bicycle in the winter is considered normal in Denmark.
  • Danes can’t agree upon what the national dish is. Help me out here?
  • Danes love their scarves. You even see guys in clubs wearing scarves.
  • Danish boys think that grabbing ass in the club is the same as shaking hands.
  • If it’s cozy, it’s called “Hygge” – and no Dane can explain exactly what that is.
  • Danes love their Licorice: Candies, gum, ice cream, food, drinks – anything goes.
  • Danes will leave a pub or a bar if there is no place to sit. Sitting is important.
  • Danes never ever sit next to someone on a bus if there is a free seat anywhere else.
  • If a Dane wants to be “undaned” and move abroad they are taxed approx. 50% of their assets.
  • Danes that buy a car end up paying almost 2 times the cars value in taxes and charges.
  • Danish people have excellent free healthcare but still pay to go to private hospitals.
  • Danes celebrate religious holidays (Christmas and Easter) by brewing an extra strong beer.
  • Danes are proud – and makes sure to point that out – each time they see a MAERSK container abroad.
  • Danes loves bathtubs as most people don’t have them. And when they do, they rarely use them.
  • Danish people can be your best friends when they are drunk. The next day they don’t even say “Hi”.
  • Many Danes don’t close/zip their coat even in the winter time… They would rather be cold than look uncool!
  • Ask a totally wasted Dane if he or she is drunk and the answer will most certainly be “No no no no no, not at all!”
  • Danes don’t like initiating a casual conversation with strangers on the street – unless they are drunk, of course.
  • Have this weird folk-law/logic saying, “Don’t think you’re anything special – You’re no better than the rest of us”.
  • Majority of Danes do not like wearing bright colors during autumn/winter. Wear a red coat and you will be stared upon.
  • Danes have sooooo many religions holidays – but few Danes very rarely practice or even believe in any specific religion.
  • Equality is important. That’s why most Danish guys don’t open the doors for a girl or take her bag if it’s heavy (come on guys!).
  • Danes are usually very relaxed about sex. Having sex at 15 is very normal. Having sex even earlier isn’t that uncommon either.
  • Danes get 5 weeks paid holiday a year, and a 37 hour work week… and we are still some of the most stressed people in the world.
  • Danish students get approx. 1000 USD/month studying, and access to free education (even universities). And still bitch about it.
  • Danes get EXTREMELY proud if you mention us winning the European Football Championship in 1992. This is our nation’s proudest moment!
  • Danes buys 5 good beers, then cheap stuff for the rest of the party, thinking “I’m going be drunk and don’t really care about the taste then”.
  • Danes are hysterical about hygiene, but apparently do not mind having birthday cakes candles blown out by people with no control of their saliva.
  • There are basically two types of Danes… The ones that buy their Christmas gifts at the latest possible time, and the one that buys them in October.
  • There is no age restriction on drinking alcohol in Denmark. Seeing drunk 15 year-olds in the streets (weekends) on their way to parties is a pretty normal sight.
  • If you’re at a party, approach a Dane, give him/her a hug and ask “So long, how have you been?” – Most Danes will be confused but play along for quite some time, embarrassed to tell they don’t know you.
  • Danes hate surprise visits. We don’t know how to handle unexpected guests. Please, call a week in advance to set something up – even though you are childhood friends and see each other all the time anyway.
  • Danes have no problem with self-irony and being laughed at 😉

 

Have I missed anything on the list? 🙂

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